landscape

coming into a place
where I still care so deeply
not thinking clearly
anymore
and aging years
in days
my eyes are open
searching for
more
what I'm given
more than what I
so deserve
and treading water
to save myself
pulling them along
in dreams of night
and the sea
and grief
painted on the landscape
a masterpiece of sorrow
longing for circumstances
jealous of others
locked into my own
beautiful white cage
singing to deaf ears