Floodgate

I scream in
increments
like a balloon
letting out just enough
but for my sake
knowing you've come too far
when you welcome pain
as a friend
to break
begging it to stay
when it hurts too much
in its absence
to come again
quaking at degrees of panic
I have yet to contemplate
and risk letting too much go
it's much too late
the realization
there is no point in waking
when relief
is far too great
in knowing you can
let it out
a little at a time
but never
open the gate