In the Dark

In the dark
Our eyes met
And there
Secret thoughts
Became secret messages
Encoded in our
Tangled fingers
In give and take
Quick breaths
No, please
Yes, please
Moving in almost
Perfect harmony
Under blanket of nightfall
Under pleading sighs
And soft call
There in the dark
Wanting it all

Nothing Happened

Settle me down
Your girl
Your part in the show
Lead me to the belief
In lies in
Where it
Lies in
A Lie
You always get caught
And somehow you don’t notice me
Shifting my dress to cover my legs
Over my head
And for the rest of my days
Showing off
A simple explanation
“I need to feel like nothing happened.”
And nothing did

Mistakes 1

Too much for a day
I can’t erase and still
I linger here
Nothing fancy
But the comfort of anger
Can’t make you
Any less real
Or my decisions
Disappear
Distractions follow you
And I followed you well
A mistake so
Unflattering
A mistake
I can’t choose but feel
Soft inside of me
Humor comes
And laughing hurts
It gets the job done
Like the heat
After coming in from
blistering cold
Searing at first
Until you realize
You’re in good hands again
Out of the woods
By the fire
Alone
Waiting for the embers to die
And wishing for home
And wishing

Turn Away

I wanted
To kiss you
All day
I finally, finally
Get you alone
I lean forward
And you
Turn
Away

Guilt 1

I need to be held down and taken advantage of
I feel bad, exposed
My hands painted red,
My mouth circled in feathers
I have eaten the bird
Feed my imagination
I let myself be carried away
I end up sitting on the scales of justice
Weighed, measured, categorized, judged
Left open to the public
Nine to five
Everyone knows,
Their eyes speak volumes
Their own secret wishes
I have lived in sin, and solitude
I know reason, but I refuse to pay the fine
I know the boundaries, and yet every time, I cross the line
Part with my innocence
A theft too cruel to remember
I need to be held down and taken advantage of,
I feel bad, exposed
My hands are red, my mouth circled in feathers,
I have eaten the bird

Siren

I am the smoky siren
Sweeping you out to the sea
I am the whore of Babylon
I am the wicked queen

I am calling your name
Luring you away
Forget all your troubles
Let go
No work
All play
Follow my voice
It will lead you well
I will take you further into sin
A little heaven after hell
My path is unholy
But I am to be revered
Don’t scream too loud
Shh, or they’ll hear
Watch for my signal
Listen for my voice
It will wrap itself around you
There is no choice

I am the smoky siren
Sweeping you out to sea
I am the whore of Babylon
I am the wicked queen

All these young maidens
Stand pure in front of thee
However you may want them
Times ten you will want me

Disorder 1

Wind ringing in my ears
Outside my window
Pushing inward on my soul
Enclosing the middle
Blustering
Throwing the clean, white paper
Around in a shuffle

A Worn Out Theme

Awake and alive
Just in time to see you
Dying
Watching the light
Fade from your eyes
Stare into the black
Vacant, you stare back
I remember your smile
Once mine
Two pilgrims
Hand in hand
Connected in time
Where all time is lost
Cold mausoleum
A tomb for my heart
My love
My joy
Life as I had seen
When I looked
Awake and alive
Just in time

Accomplishment

Toes dangling down
Just showing
Beneath the dress
I worked so hard to purchase
It didn’t seem special to you
But I was happy to see them
Wiggling under the cloth
That I knew was truly mine
Something you couldn’t take away
Even if you felt you could
I know you wanted this yellow hem
Tickling the tops of your feet
You wanted these eyes to see it with
And this heart to understand
To appreciate
What this really means

Beginning

It was so strange
Becoming
Ending where
I wanted to begin
Seeing the silhouette
Movement of
Walking away
Back facing forward
Seeing your face
Twisted in pain
Feeling the small rip
Happening
Unprepared
With the assumption
That I was a child
And was surprised
To see the woman
In your eyes

Fun house mirror image
A paradox in the windows
A place in your soul

It was so strange
Becoming
Ending where
I wanted to begin

Daily Routine

Lasting through impatience
A click or call away
Silence perseveres
The whiplash of time
Enduring again
But...
Why wait?
All due to
A function of reality
Day in and day out
Clean and tidy
Perfect routine
Generating every step
Out of caution
Out of memory
Practiced from beginning
To beginning
To no end
To every waking hour
One smudge on a white surface
Specks of dust in the bowl
Constitutes imperfection
And following suit
It becomes imperative
To sweep it under the rug
Into the black hole of time
A message in a bottle
Carefully floating out
In the wide ocean waves
Waving goodbye

Two Cents

I love the way
Some people think
That you need
Their thoughts
For completion
Like all a girl has
Is 98 cents
Short two
For a dollar

Funeral

As I lay in the church
On that day, the day when you buried your past,
I knew I’d never understand
When I heard the echo
Of your voice
Rise up from below I
Could almost breathe
In perfect time with you
My feet hurt from doing your bidding
Always what you wanted and never
What I need
Just me and
Just me and this need
A blank part of my childhood
Gone unfulfilled, festered over
So now, disappointment isn't a bitch
Like me
What you think of me
Using your mother
As a shield
So you didn’t have to see
But secretly
You don’t know what you’ll be looking at
Once the barrier is gone and
So it is
So like you
You don’t know the touch of love or anything
About me.