not

she says
he's on his way
on his way
to me
I'm not a port
or a destinaton
no one comes for rest here
I believe that no means
no
almost doesn't
count
and no one stops
to consider

living.

how do you repackage a life lived?
taken apart?
or complete?
to ease it back
into the box
it came in
to put it
back on the shelf
to be resold
reused
how?
it doesn't fit anymore
it has become something
bigger
outlasted
outshined
you can't fold it
on the original lines
anymore
or find the old tags
the prices have skyrocketed
anyway
how do you repackage a life lived?
trying to put value on it
when you have no idea
the true worth
the sentimental
the retail assessment
and effort behind making it
all improvements
wings and additions added later
without thought to what it would
add
or take away
to the intrinsic cost
of living it.

cash out.

*beep beep beep*
*click*
*beep beep*
*click click click click*
*hummmmm*
*beep beep beep beep beep...*

it continues in my sleep....
how very unfair
never to
*beep*
escape

the cage.

waking up to nightmares
in the light of day
making useless wishes
and throwing words away
saying that its easy
watching dreams that fade
outwardly indifferent
inside ever afraid

these steps lead only foward
these steps cannot retreat
no one will give the answer
can't find it on the street
open only to temptation
recieving only pain
beyond recognition
never gonna be the same
never the same

so blind to opposition
helpless to the truth
lost innocence in school days
but clinging to the youth
forgotten in transgresions
left behind in rage
only time will tell now
when I will leave this cage

these steps cannot lead foward
these steps cannot retreat
stuck inside the stubborn pride
unwilling to take the heat
open only to temptation
recieving only pain
beyond recognition
never gonna be the same
never the same