sick

i make
myself
sick

i looked
at what
was down there
these days

i make
myself
sick

smile

from now on
i will only
smile
i will say
only what you
want to hear
fake
every day
until i die
today
i have become
undone
just a mess
i can't clean up
a puzzle
i can't solve
and a question
no one can ever
ever seem
answer
and for that
i will accept
nothingness
and continue to pay
pay my dues
the seed
that never sprouted
never saw the sun
but dreamed
much too hard
i kept the water
running
overflowing
spilling out
i am not allowed
to cry
so from now on
i will smile

Lost

Stuck inside dying

dreams and mistakes

trading stories and lies like a game

Thoughtlessly changing

whatever I can

but everything still seems the same

it's always so sad

but incredibly beautiful

and I gave at whatever the cost

I know what I had

and what I've forsaken

can't find the way when you've lost

Think of the things

you don't get to see

things you can never replace

Say it's not so

can't keep on believing

Someone will notice your face

It's always so sad

and incredibly beautiful

and I gave at whatever the cost

I know what I had

and what I've forsaken

can't find the way when you've lost

And I opened myself to core

they knew I could not offer more

It's always so sad

and incredibly beautiful

and I give whatever the cost

I know what I had

and I was mistaken

can't find the way when you've lost

bird

I may be

a strange bird

however

I am still

a bird

singing despite

everything

and my bones are

hollow

the pressure

from your hands

on my chest

around my neck

will still

crush me

but I will go down

singing

because its all

I've ever known.

we fly

the moon hangs
crimson
in the sky
tonight
red
as the blood
I have bled
shining
as the tears
I shed
seeing
more clearly
eye to eye
we witness
reckoning
we fly